Monday, September 13, 2010

What I Talk About When I Talk About Aging

Re-reading something you've read before is an interesting experience. You might find out things that you used to concern about, and things that you are fucked up with right now. Same time last year I was reading Haruki Murakami's What I Talk About When I Talk About Running, and all I was curious about was what running is to Murakami, that is, it suits him. At that time I was finding my place in my new academic as well as career attempt, in a new place, Seoul, and it struck me with some depressing realization about my doomed aspiration (again!). Anyway, one year has passed, my weight dropped a few kilos and I finished my MA thesis and went back to Sweden for thesis presentation and have it passed with B. Other than that, nothing about me has really improved, and I know I still need to find a way out, troubled.

"In other words, let's face it: Life is basically unfair. But even in a situation that's unfair, I think it's possible to seek out a kind of fairness." This time, this quote is what I am impressed with the most in Murakami's book on running. In some ways I am screwed, but in some other ways, I am just so blessed. Because of this, I will end this day, with a smile.

New sticker series from Jetoy, a card, and a
 mini bibimbap(my fav Korean food) strap, kk
直到今天為止,我在這個世界上已經活了26年了。和大部分的人一樣,我的人生有無比順利的一面,也有無比不順的時期。過去幾年我沒有在一個地方好好待過,06年的生日在台北、07在香港、08在華沙、09和10在首爾。想到去年這時候我在讀村上春樹的What I Talk About When I Talk About Running,於是把它重新翻開來看;舊書重讀有一個樂趣,你可以發現自己不同時期的心境和關注。例如去年這時候,我關心的主要是跑步對村上的人生意味著什麼,因為當時我正在苦思論文的題目以及回到亞洲後,如何把我的學業和事業結合在一起。當然,經過一年的琢磨,我還是再度被打擊了(彷彿我人生中所有的夢想都是為了被打擊而存在的,哈哈),這時我所注意到的,便是村上的這段話:"把話說白一點,人生本來就不平等,但在不平等的處境下,我認為還是有可能尋得某種程度的平等。" 這種事我當然不是第一天知道,但重讀此文,心裡畢竟還是會振奮一下。

許小臉今天帶我出去吃好吃玩好玩的一整天,晚上一定要帶著笑容入眠才不枉這年華老去啊。

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